How Adoption Made My Family

Michael - Provo, Utah
Entered on December 3, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: family
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Without the wonderful opportunity to adopt, my wife and I would never be able to experience the joys, challenges and responsibility of being a parent and raising a family. We cannot biologically have children of our own… I believe in adoption.

When we got married, Amanda and I couldn’t wait to have children and start a family of our own. We were looking forward to the challenge of raising a moral, respectful, and a generally good hearted family – especially in today’s society of insolence and indifference. Our excitement though soon turned to discouragement as we failed to get pregnant. After 8 years, and many rough treatments full of trial and error visiting fertility specialists, we finally began to accept that we would never be able to biologically have children. At one point we started feeling bitterness towards the “fertile” people. It was so easy for “everyone” else to have a baby, why not us? Our bitterness has since left us, and I believe this was part of our healing process with coming to terms of our own infertility. We still wanted a family, so we began looking into the only option we never considered up until this point. That was adoption. So we made the commitment, and began the process for the first time in August 2005.

We couldn’t believe the paperwork, interviews, background checks, and decisions we had to make, and all this way before we were even approved to adopt. After 4 months this, we were finally approved. We were told that the average wait was 2-3 years, so we dug our feet in the ground ready to bear the wait. When you’re waiting for something that you want really bad, time always goes by slow. For us it seemed excruciatingly slow. Luckily for us we only had to wait 2 months before we were placed with our beautiful daughter Lilly. Her birthmother is a wonderful strong woman who was very firm in her decision to place her with us. We are eternally grateful to her for her sacrifice and love for Lilly.

Now Lilly is almost 3 years old. We have been waiting almost a year to be chosen by birthparent(s) since being approved for our second adoption. Domestic adoption (which is what we chose to do) is a little different than international adoption in that, in most cases, the birthmother or birthparents look through many profiles of adoptive couples and pick the couple that they think will be best suited for what they would like for their child. The waiting this time is a little easier…and harder at the same time. It’s easier for Amanda and me because we have Lilly filling our hearts with joy this time, but it’s harder because we know that Lilly is looking at other families and wanting a little baby brother or sister too. Every evening in her personal prayers she asks her Heavenly Father for a new baby in our family. She knows by heart the story about how she came into our family, and how we received a call from our caseworker the day after she was born…and she knows we are now waiting for our current caseworker to call us and tell us we’ve been selected to have another child added to our family.

Being a parent is a privilege not a right. It is a gift and responsibility given to us from God. We are given this stewardship over one of Gods children, and expected to raise them in a manner pleasing to Him. There are many people out there that take this for granted. Although there are many children out there that are being born into loving families with all the physical and emotional needs for the child, there are also many who are born into situations where the birthparents cannot provide for their child the way they would like to. Those parents have one of the hardest decisions they’ll ever make, and I commend those parents who selflessly place their child for adoption. They are sacrificing a part of themselves to ensure that their child will get the best life possible. This is the ultimate act of love. And although they are doing this for their child, they cannot begin to know the blessing they are giving to my family and other adoptive families. They cannot begin to know overwhelming love and respect we have for them and their child. I believe in adoption because it is about the children involved. I believe in adoption because I believe in families. I believe in adoption because adoption gave me my family.