Change in life helps for the future

Ashley - Solon, Ohio
Entered on December 1, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family
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Change in life helps for the future

My siblings and I positioned ourselves in front of the door, world I thought perfect changed forever, leaving my heart crushed along trying to stop our dad from walking out. This day the walls crumbled down and the with it. Our father strolled out the door that day six years ago, leaving my mother’s eyes red and puffy full of pain from too much crying. We begged him not to go, yet he looked at me and whispered, “I’m sorry your mother and I can’t live together anymore.” I kept asking myself, “why? Why did our dad decide to leave?” All three of us huddled and climbed on our mom’s lap, crying as well. My sister, Leah, and my youngest brother, Daniel were too young to understand because Leah was five years old, and Daniel only three, at the naïve age of nine, and being old enough to understand the basic of the situation.

When I went to school later that week, I felt completely wrecked, not able to stop myself from bursting into tears. My 3rd grade teacher Miss Hayes took me into the hallway, and asked me what had upset me. I explained to her why I had such grief that day. She allowed me to stay in the hallway till I could handle coming back into the classroom. The same day, Mr. Sullivan, the guidance counselor fetched me from my class, and had me enlighten him on how I felt about my life and my family changing. Again, like a hose with a leak, the tears started rolling down again. It took me a while to get the whole story out, because while discussing it, I once again felt like I would never feel whole again, I feared the sensation of always having a gap, being torn between two different parents. I eventually calmed down, and the guidance counselor notified me that it was not my fault about what had happened. “Family’s change and lives change as well,” he said in an attempt to comfort me. I was put into a group called changing families to help cope with how I felt.

When I got home my mom was still really upset, and I continued to comfort my mother. Being the oldest, I did the laundry and dishes. Our mom had decided to go back to school to become a nurse and to be able to make money because, even with child support, with three children that’s still a lot of money needed. The hardship that followed through the years has motivated me to study hard. As I have examined of my mother, my mother putting endless effort in, my mother fighting against giving up hope, my mother determined, already an adult and studying one again, she really inspired me to study to do my best and have fun but at the same time taking in the information, to balance my time when studying and work hard putting endless amounts of time in. It took my mother a couple years to find the ground to stand on. To restore a bridge that has crumbled. My mother, an adult returning back to school, strongly proved if she could go back to school and become a nurse, then when I am an adult, I could become whatever I wanted. As the years passed my mother, siblings, and I have gotten a lot closer. I think I better understand my dad now in a perspective that I probably would have never if my parents had never split. For I have learned that this happening has made me a lot wiser. I understand more, I have perception that many people would not have, and I tend to look at things with more thought. For example many people don’t look to closely at poems or paintings, meaning that they often miss the message in the poem, painting or story, it has taught me to really think about things and break down into chunks what I hear or see, and have become stronger, along with sentiment of whole again. My sister and brother also gaze up to me as a role model, and continue hard effort to help them also. Becoming older and wiser mentally is truly a gift that I have gained over this challenge. That any challenge can be conquered by family support. I believe family supporting each other through change and hard times make a person stronger.