I believe mistakes make you stronger. I have been living for close to 17 years and I have come to regret the majority of things I did in my life. Recently, I lost my great grandmother and my grand-pop. The two days, October 16th and November 18th will always remain in my heart.
While my great grandmother was living, she would call everyday and I can just remember being so mad that she would call cause she couldn’t hear me on the phone and I didn’t like talking to her because I was always so annoyed by having to repeat myself several times, especially when I was already having a bad day.
Now that she’s gone, I wish I would’ve taken the time to actually listen to what she has to say even though I would get so annoyed, I shouldn’t have let that get in the way of what I was feeling towards my great grand-mom. Now that she’s only with me in spirit, there are so many things I just want to call her and apologize about but I know I cant. I can only apologize in my head. I can’t believe I was so selfish to her.
She was the oldest person still alive in my family and I should’ve been grateful to have her still apart of my life, calling to see how I was and how was everything with the family.
When my pop pop died two days ago, it was like a part of me disappeared. I can remember him being the one always taking up for me when my mom was yelling and screaming at me to do better in things that I believed I did my best in, the one that gave me the most toys on Christmas and the one who used to work at a candy factory and brought me back insane amounts of candy everyday. Now that he’s gone, I realize I didn’t appreciate him as much as I could have. Of course I loved getting thing but him, but now it seems like that’s all I cared about, getting gifts.
Without him in my life now, I feel extremely sad because I know I could’ve treated him better than I did. It almost seems as if when he was diagnosed with an illness I distanced myself from him and I didn’t want things to be that way.
It still hasn’t fully set in with me that those two valuable members of my family are gone but I know in my heart it’s the truth. I want to do so much better now as a person, I want to make them proud so I can feel better about my actions towards them. Mistakes make you stronger.