When I was a kid I would always think organized. My mom would try to talk to me when I’m dazing off in LaLa land and she’d turn to me and say, “Tyesha, are you listening to me, you should pay attention and not think so much!” But I could not stop thinking especially in an organized way. To me organized meant counting letters and numbers and that’s what I used to do. I would grab a box, sit down and start counting the numbers and letters on the box. I would just block every ones voice, all the sounds and just stop and think about what I have seen in the past, what I’m seeing now and what I will see in the future. When I start to think freely I tend to just smile out of nowhere, I’m in my own little world.
I believe in thinking freely. Not that thinking in a liberated way means speaking out loud these beliefs, but thinking in a way that’s unorganized. Thinking freely can help me feel younger, because when I think organized it can sometimes cause stress and then I could get grey hair.
Now I think freely. And when I think freely, I just think about what I want to think about. My thoughts are usually mixed up and very random. When I want to do something I always think it through before I do anything. My mind is wanders a lot and it’s not so easy to put my thoughts in order. When I’m in the car with my mom I count the letters on the sign and just listen to the sound around me, but block people’s voices.
I use to think it was weird that I would just space out and would be zoned in to my own world of thoughts. Now I think its okay to think the way I do, in a free kind of way, but I still To this day I still just block everything out and think about whatever I look at.