Laurie - san bernardino, California
Entered on November 13, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

During life everyone must face disappointments and loss. Tragedies and unexpected change of plans can cause ones mind to wonder off and sink towards depression. I dealt with many losses in my life that I had to accept. Peace that surpassed all understanding is what I believe God gave me to get through the tough losses. It’s a peace of mind that allows your heart to rest. In my case I just recently got a divorce from my husband for abandoning his family. I lost my husband to selfishness. My two girls lost a father. I was upset and ready to give up because my mind and heart were in two different decisions. I lost sleep, patience with my children, and to love became a hopeless idea.

Getting married is a great life accomplishment. Saying vows and joining lives together with someone you love , is part of the prosperous dream. But to have your whole hope for the future as a family change hurts the very core of a person. My ex made that decision to only love and cherish himself for richer or poorer. And he didn’t acknowledge his children that he left behind. I had to accept that my marriage was over, continue to provide the needs of my two girls, and I tried everything from self-indulgement to therapy.

Searching for advice did not help either. With some I would receive the “you deserve better, just move on with your life,” speech and from older voices I heard, “stick it out for the sake of the children, in time it will get better.” With both of those thoughts in my mind, I slept even less, cried more; and depression had taken a toll on me physically. I needed peace…… so I went God.

After all that fighting it my way, in the end all I had to do was pray. I prayed and cried out for help and with out having to wait long, it came. Peace had taken over my mind, body and soul. I was laughing again, playing with my girls in the yard and looking forward to celebrating family events. Even though my circumstances didn’t change my attitude for life changed drastically. From a family of four that decreased to three, I didn’t feel so bad anymore. I didn’t care, I didn’t hate him and I didn’t lose anything. My anger turned into joy and my heart had been restored.

God’s peace was unbelievable to me some days. People would ask how did I make it through and I had no exact explanation. Hope, faith, and love held up. It gave me the energy to play two roles to my children. I love even more now without the fear of getting hurt because I know I’m loved regardless. This peace God gave me carries me from day to day. That is what I believe.