My Ulterior Motives

Austin - Beaverton, Oregon
Entered on November 10, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: change
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Life doesn’t always give you a winning hand, but that shouldn’t change how you play the game. I believe where you come from shouldn’t determine where you are going in life. This is something I learned at an early age and have tried to live by everyday.

When I was just seven years old my parents got divorced, and the six person family I loved and cared about began to collapse. Being so young my mind and attitude were still very impressionable. Something this big could have easily ruined me forever. But it didn’t.

When I first found out I didn’t know what to feel. Should I be angry? Should I be sad? Or possibly bitter? As a muddle of confused emotions flew through my head I realized I had two choices: One I could let this less than perfect situation change my course in life, or I could look at it as an inspiration, a motivator to help me succeed in life.

I tried to make the right decision, I tried to keep up with school and make life work for me. It worked for a while, I did my work and got good grades, but as soon as I hit middle school I fell into a downward spiral. The harsh feelings about my past reared their ugly head and I couldn’t stop myself from thinking: “What’s the point? No one expects anything above average from me. I mean look at where I came from. No good could come out of garbage.”

It took me a while to realize how lucky I really was. I had something a lot of kids my age didn’t have. I had motivation. I had the motive to prove everyone wrong, to show them that I, not some event in my life, will determine how I spend my future.

Since that day I have lived by this belief, that where I came from will not indicate where I plan on going. Now instead of looking back on my past with a grim face, or a spiteful memory I look back on it as an important lesson. A lesson I learned early enough in my life that it saved me from myself in a way. It saved me from the part of me that wanted to give up, the part that I will never let rule me. My past may be set in stone but my future is as bright as I wish it to be.