At God’s Feet

Jessica - Jefferson, North Carolina
Entered on November 10, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away” (Philip K. Dick). Most people only put their faith into what they can see. Yet, what happens when believing is seeing? For example, Christians believe in God and that he gave his only begotten son for our sins; however, we have never looked God straight in the face. The Holy Bible gives us the proof of God and when we truly have faith we begin to see his great works.

In the darkest time of my life I slipped away from God and into a black abyss. Partying was suddenly so much more important than anything else. I ran with a crowd that did not have very much faith in God, and thought they were the most important people around. I began to do anything to make me forget that I had issues with my family and issues with people who wanted me gone for good.

The highs made me forget the lows, but one day I awoke so very sick I couldn’t walk a line without screaming in pain. I went straight to my doctor and learned that I had contracted a virus that could prevent me from being healthy for a long time. This virus was not only causing my insides to become scarred, but the news of it wrecked my family life.

This black pit I had fallen into was overwhelming. I did not know what to do or where to go. However, one night I came by my childhood church and just knew the door was unlocked. I got out of my car and ventured inside. Without turning the lights on I found the alter and fell onto it. My heart swam with emotion and I cried like a child. I simply just knew that I was crying at the feet of God. My heart swelled as I confessed my sins to someone I knew I could not look into the face of, but I knew would hear my cry.

Sweet subtle peace rested my nerves when I was finished. I had no fear of what was happening in my body, I simply had to get better inside out. The power of believing in God helped me to see him in my heart; therefore, I believe that God is much like reality, when you sometimes forget to believe in him he is still there waiting for his children to come home.

Today I am almost completely healed from my virus, but with a few mishaps every now and then. I hold God’s promise so very close in my heart now that when I fall back a little I begin to pray silently to myself and can get that extra boost to make everything make sense. In July I will be getting married, and through the grace of God I saw through all the cobwebs and took the hand of my savior because nothing would be possible right now in my life if it wasn’t for God.