The Change of Death
Confused, scared, and upset; just a few things people feel after the loss of a loved one. Nervous, terrified, and lost; just a few more feelings that overcome someone dealing with death. The loss of a loved one can be the most devastating event of a person’s life. Whether it is a child, a brother, a sister, a father, or a mother the loss of a life is drastically changing.
When my father had passed, it was a very shocking and horrifying event with a lot of change. I believe change is what we fear most, I also believe the change that death brings is the most feared. How can one continue without this valuable part of their life? How can one be alright and safe without their caregiver or spouse there to do such things? At the age of 15, my father passed away and he did not go without a fight. This fight and drive he had to survive is the same fight and drive I try to place within my work each day.
Grief is a tough thing to subside; it’s very hard to grieve openly especially when you’re being strong for everyone else. It was not until my grandfather died that I could weep both for my own father and my mothers father and it hit me hard, harder than I ever expected but sure as the song says, “Everything will be alright” and it surely was. No matter if it takes a while or a second I realized that it will be alright and time is all that matters.
The parent of the lost child, or the son without a father; should be able to and free to express her grief in any manner. I believe too many people are ashamed or scared of facing the final test of believing that the death is final and set. The knowledge of the irreversible occurrence set in for me when I was standing beside my fathers casket, this long, last look into the heart of the man who guided my life for this long; that is when my realization of death occurs.
No matter who has passed, grief from death, pain from death and most of all the change that death brings is not only terrifying but really difficult. Do not be scared, there are people out there with the same feelings, the same problems, and the same fear. Most importantly remember to support and stand by anyone dealing with loss because during that loss is the time when they need support the most. Also, remember that death is simply change.