The phrases run through my mind over and over: “I wish I was more outgoing,” “I wish I always knew what to say,” “I wish I was like her.”
Well I’m not, and that is just the way it is. I am trying to accept that. Too much time spent wishing and wanting can make you miss some of the best little moments in life. I need to just go where life leads me, as me, and no one else.
I have always felt sort of random and just there by myself, and being the new girl does not help that feeling. At the same tiny private school, Heritage Christian School, from Kindergarten through seventh grade, I knew everyone and felt pretty comfortable in my own skin. But when heritage fell apart, I had to switch schools and everything changed. There were so many more people, and Kinard was so big. I still walk through the halls and see many people I have never seen before. And now there were “populars,” “nerds,” and “weirdos.”
Well I was not used to school having social classes, and I had no idea what to do or where to go. I stuck with the few people I knew, but for the most part, I was alone with myself, figuring out who I was.
It has been over a year since then. I have made some friends, I know my way around, and I am pretty confident, though I am still figuring things out. I have an idea of where I want to go in life. I want to be a marine biologist, possibly going to college in Hawaii or Miami. I realize that in order to achieve my goals, I need to believe in myself, and know that I was created for a unique purpose. I will never be someone else, and I need to focus on my goals, to find out how I can make a difference in the world with my talents.
So, I believe in being confident in who you are. I believe in pursuing who I want to be, and overcoming all the obstacles in my way. I believe in me.