Alexa - Fort Collins, Colorado
Entered on November 4, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: love


Why does this world happen to have the sweetest people perish because of hunger? Why have children died at a young age from cancer? Why do the unhealthy people, or the people who decide to make the worst decisions, end up living? Why do I, today, feel like I am going to start bawling because of a teenage boy, but he can go on happily living his life? I believe love sucks.

Love is a very powerful thing. It can overcome you like a flick of a light switch whether it is a good way, like marriage, or a bad thing.

The sight of a blown-up building would probably be the exact replica of my heart right now. Boys are so immature. Some can’t treat girls with respect; it’s not a hard task to accomplish, I mean, girls can respect boys. And when you like them so much, that you just toss and turn at night, it tears you apart.

My story goes like this. I’ve been “crushing” on this guy for almost a year; I know, not a very long time. So, I was in science class, one of my favorites until today. Today, I’ve been comforted and still, I almost feel like none of it helped. One of my dear friends, Megan, has pushed me through this; she is in most of my classes this year. Anyway, lately this boy has been a complete jerk to me and I wasn’t sure why. When it was the worst of today, I moved to another table because I couldn’t stand anymore rude comments to me, like calling me too skinny and flat. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a low self esteem, but it was different coming from him. Megan, then, asked him why he was being the way he was (she had been witnessing this), and at the end of class, she told me that he was trying to get me to stop liking him. I was teased and hurt, wondering if I did anything wrong.

As I write this, I’m trying to keep tears down. My eyes every once in a while become foggy and the hold back of tears feels like hot oil suffocating me.

I never thought why I didn’t stop liking him before. All of my friends tried to tell me, “Don’t like him, he’s a jerk.” But, I guess I liked him because I’ve never really had someone who I thought liked me back.

Also, I have other guys I like, funny, I know, I’m just boy crazy. But, one is just so cute, and every girl thinks so that I don’t think I will ever get a chance. It would be too good to be true.

I wish I never really “fell in love” at a young age. I need to be older so I can make the right choice on my soul mate. People are right though, at this age, I found out today, that love sucks.