Just A Thought

Just A Thought

Who thought God could give you a miracle at the age of fifteen. Most of the teenage girls in my school were dressing for prom in dresses suitable for a Dutch princess. I on the other hand could just admire the dresses that I knew I could not get into.

Reality is I am sitting at home big and fat unable to do things a normal teenager would be doing. My face looks as though the Pillsbury dough boy was of relation to my father. My legs reminded me of Kentucky friend chickens thundering thigh’s number four combo pack. My lanky arms resembled Willy Wonka’s expandable banana laffy taffy mouth watering chewy candy. Why do I keep thinking of nothing other than food? Oh, I forget, I’m about a month short of eating for one person again. You know through all these mixed emotions, December 20th turned out being the day God sent me my little blessing.

All I thought to myself was, “Now I have a responsibility.” The lights in the delivery room mocked an early 90’s horror film. The epidural shot left me feeling as though the numbness was actually killing me slowly, rather than taking the pain away. In an instance the blade of a knife separated my fetus from my womb. I was so sleepy a red bull actually could have been the cure I needed to see her face, but the drugs kept me heavily sedated. Everything was fading away almost to a blur. What seemed like a second really ended up being three hours recovering in the recovery room.

Waking up to very sharp pains in my abdomen only made me wish I had a button that would release more drugs into my veins. In that moment I met Abigail Marie. She was so tiny and fat. Her hair resembled that of a Geisha dark and cold. It’s like going on a date, your always nervous and scared hoping everything falls into place. It’s funny, because Abigail had already scratched her nose, and we lacked being formally introduced to one another. I noticed her smiling at me, but when you think about babies you don’t just assume they know it was the right time to smile, but she did. In my heart I know she was excited to see the face of the voice that kept her company for the past eight months. Due to the fact that she was premature and just couldn’t wait to meet her mommy.

I fell in love from day one. Today that fetus is a month away from being eight years old, and a remarkable resemblance of her mother. There are days when I feel as though my life is so hectic and filled with drama, but all I have to do is think back to that glorious day, when I first laid eyes on my daughter, and it gives me a feeling of peace. I truly believe that day was a blessing from God.