My Daddy Was But Father Knows Best

Angela - Memphis, Tennessee
Entered on October 24, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50

My Daddy Was but Father Knows Best

My Father made a decision that would alter my existence when I was just 4 years old. He decided that he would deny me the right to have a father because of the issues he had with my mother. This is something that caused a trickle down effect of bad decision making over the course of time. Until now I never wanted to face this issue but I feel that it is time to deal with this skeleton. You see, my father was the apple of my eye. He was the knight that would ride up and save me from my despair. I realized after a long time of waiting for him to come through, a midst all of the broken promises, he knew it was best to stay away. My father understood that I did not need to grow up in a home filled with arguing and fighting. Little did he know that the anger in my mom from his abandonment would come to me in the form of verbal and sometimes physical abuse. Daddy knew that it was best for him not to deal with me at all because of his inability to make good decisions. However, daddy did not know that his absence from my childhood would one day force me to search for a man just like him. Daddy and I knew that his absence would keep me from his battle with drug addictions, but we were both wrong. You see, I was a border line crack attic when it came to marijuana. I was always the life of the party and sometimes not knowing how I got there or back home. I woke up with dope and went to bed with dope. It sometimes makes me wonder if I would have made these almost deadly mistakes with my dad in my life. After all of the earthly wisdom I missed getting from my daddy, I met my real father, in heaven of course! I found comfort in casting my cares on Him because He cares for me. My Father knew what I would become from the day I was born. He also knew that my past failures would not determine my future outcome. My heavenly Father knew that my mess would become a message and all of my tests would make a greater testimony. My heavenly Father took away all the hurt, pain, disappointment, and even the scars that my earthly daddy allowed to penetrate my spirit because of his lack of protection. Now after all these years, my heavenly Father has allowed me to find my daddy. Now I have both of them in my life and that is the most beautiful gift in the world! Daddy is well into his early 60’s now. After a long battle with prostate cancer, he is in remission and doing great! Life has a funny way of making good on what has been tainted. All the time my heavenly Father knew what was best for me!