Don’t Hold It In

Have you ever locked so many feelings up on the inside you don’t know how to let them out or even whom to tell? Recently I experienced this exact feeling. So many thoughts were racing through my head, and I didn’t know who to turn to.

Stress had been gradually building up over a few months. It all started with the yelling voices of my parents banging on my eardrum. I just wanted it all to go away, but it wasn’t that easy. They decided to settle their differences by separating. I feared this would end up in divorce. I immediately lost control on the inside. I had many questions like what we will do. How do I act? Why is this happening?

This was all so new to me, so I had no knowledge of it at all. My mom was very stressed out, as well. She always seemed to let any anger out on me, but not intentionally. On the inside, this really bothered me and somewhat brought me down. I just held it in due to not knowing how to confront her without totally devastating her. I decided to put it off, but then things just got worse.

One day I finally realized what needed to be done. I sat down with my mom and asked her why she had been acting the way she had towards me. I also told her how it made me feel. She immediately felt horrible and couldn’t have apologized enough.

Lately she has gained control over her stress and everything is gradually improving. I realized when life gives me problems; I must talk about them with someone. Otherwise, it will literally eat me alive. There is always someone for everyone to talk to and turn for comfort. Don’t hold it in.