This is All Temporary

Brandon - Monterey Park, California
Entered on September 30, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: family, setbacks

This is All Temporary

“All bad things eventually come to an end,” my dad used to say a lot to me when I was younger and when I would tell him about what was going on in my life; unfortunately, what he neglected to tell me was that all good things would also come to an end eventually too.

I first realized this about five years ago when I was at a friend’s house for a birthday party, and noticed on his wall a small piece of paper that read, “Change is the only constant in life”. I’m not sure if a sentence since has hit me the same way that simple seven-word statement did. It was a grim reminder that everything is temporary; that everything will change. I’ve gotten so used to this concept that I’ve adopted it as a defense mechanism. I accept that people and things in my life are temporary, so if anything ever goes wrong or if anything falls apart, I can say to myself in solace, “It’s okay, it would have ended someday anyway.”

I’ve struggled with the concept of impermanence a lot – it’s what I think about before falling asleep in bed or if I’m bored and have nothing else to do but ponder. Everything we know, every person we’ve met, and every place we’ve ever been, will meet their own unique ending someday.

It seems that change and I are in a recently turned cold relationship – once that warm and uplifting feeling of a brand new relationship fades and now you’re facing a whole new set of problems, trying to actually live life with a person in the passenger seat, it seems that this is what would be left. Most of the times that change has come into my life, it has been negative. My parents have been divorced since I was about eight, and because of that I’ve bounced around from awkward home to awkward home until very recently when I had to choose between going to Oregon with my mother or staying in Monterey Park with my father. It seems that every time I finally get a stable footing, or get out of the hole I had been in, life comes and changes the surrounding landscape and I end up slipping into a different hole that maybe I could have seen coming or could have avoided somehow. I’ve tried many times to learn to fully embrace change, to fully accept that everything is temporary but sometimes I just can’t.

However, I don’t always see change as a bad thing; in fact, I’ve taken it and have used it as motivation to push myself more – because as everything will eventually end, I try to make sure that I make the quality of the experience is as high as it possibly could be. Things being temporary means that bad things really do end eventually, it means that even when I’m feeling down that it will eventually change for the better, it gives me something more to look forward to.

This year of my life – my senior year of high school – I’m facing more life-altering changes than ever. Eventually moving out after being in a house with my parents for seventeen years, going to a college of my choice and being able to choose for myself a schedule that fits my casual way of life, it’s all a big change for me to finally be the individual I want to be.