Through Tests and Trials
Middle school was probably the roughest years that I have ever experienced in my
life. Elementary to middle school was a huge jump as far as school work and, even worse,
the social life. I was one of those tomboy girls that thrived on playing sports and wearing
boy clothes, which worked for me. It’s all I knew and I didn’t think it would be a big
deal, but I was very wrong.
Elementary school was great! I had so many friends and I was never judged for the
way I looked. But when middle school came along, I was being harassed by the “preps” every
single day. It all started with a boy, who I met on the first day of school. I was walking
down the hallway, just minding my own business and being happy about everything. As I tried
to get through the crowd, our eyes met. Thinking that he might be a nice person I smiled at
him. My grin immediately was wiped off my face when I saw his look of disgust. It was
almost evil. I looked away quickly and kept walking. As I walked away, I heard him start
laughing. Then he turned to his friends and said, “Doesn’t she look like a boy”, which got
all of them laughing. My heart sank. I never met this kid in my life, yet here he was
jumping to conclusions just because of the way I looked. Soon he wasn’t the only one that
started saying stuff about me.
I had a lot of friends in middle school that were very supportive, but the negative
comments got the better of me. I cried every single night and prayed to God that these kids
would just stop bothering me. But they never did. Each day was a challenge for me to go to
school. My stomach would twist and churn every morning without stopping, throughout the
day. I was so scared of being hurt by someone emotionally, that I lived in fear. Each year
my personality slowly shrunk. It was the first time in my life where I cared more about
what other people thought than what I thought was right. I finally changed the way that I
dressed in 7th grade; but the damage, in my mind, was already done. I lived in fear for two
years, and it stayed with me a little longer.
Yes, I suffered a lot, but when I got to high school I realized that other people
have had it way worse than me. I only went through this torture for two years while other
people have dealt with this their whole life. I empathize with them, because I know what
it’s like to be a shunned and kicked to the curb. But I had it easy compared to them. I
had other things to distract me like sports and my friends. A lot of people that go through
this don’t have friends at all. That’s such a horrible thought in my head because I don’t
know what I would’ve done without my friends.
As I was looking back on that experience in my life, it made me believe that
challenges are what make us better people. I think about what school would’ve been like had
I not gone through that suffering, and I don’t think I would’ve turned out for the better.
In that time where I was down, I turned to God completely. He was the only one who knew how
I felt. It was the most humbling experience I have ever had in my life and it brought me
closer to Him. If I went back in time I wouldn’t change a thing about that part of my life.
I figured out who I was and who my real friends were. I believe I am a better person
because of the challenges I went through.