I think what influences you as a child stay with you for life. While growing up my parents worked long hours. My brother and I were home with whatever babysitter they found. There were few times when we had family time, usually when they had vacations. We didn’t have a lot of money but my parents would take us to places and we cooked out.
Growing up in my house sucked, so I thought. I was upset with my parents for not being there. I guess at that age I just didn’t realize they were working to put a roof over my head. That’s how I came up with the idea I wouldn’t do that to my kids. I wanted my parents home, I thought that’s what all kids wanted. My lack of family was my drive to do better.
By the time I was thirteen my dad had lost his job. It took a while but dad settled into a new job. There was another adjustment; it was a day shift position. I had gotten so used to not having a parent home that I wasn’t sure what to do.
I eventually get used to dad being home because I had more freedom. Mom finally got to work different shifts and got to be home more at night. At first it was great. I didn’t have to be home with my brother.
I found myself pregnant young. But I had my family that was going to be there and help me out. This is when I started realizing my family wasn’t so bad. Family members would babysit so I could finish high school. I finished high school early, and I went to work. I worked at the same restaurant mom worked at. I got married and working night shift more. What was I doing?
I was doing exactly the same thing my parents had done. I wasn’t home; I was fighting with my husband and not spending time with my kids. I realized that I had gone down a worse road. I watch my marriage crumbled, and my family fall away to the side.
We all learn from early years in our life. My parents and I are closer than ever. My parents have become excellent grandparents. It took me having kids to really understand how hard my parents worked. I’m now in a healthier relationship, I left my job and started going to school. I changed everything so my kids would have a better chance at good memories.