One Step Closer
I believe in the power of music. Music is more than it appears to be if you let it. A person can make music into anything he or she wants, such as: a belief, an anthem, a friend, or in my case, support.
I was not raised by my biological father. My mother remarried when I was two. I don’t have much to remember about my father, except that he was never there. My new father and my mother raised me, and when I was six he and my mother had my sister. He never really liked me, always favoring my sister, putting my down, and many other things, and this created problems for him and my mother. Our whole family knew he loved my sister but not me because I wasn’t really his. When I was about 12, my mother had enough of the way he was treating me. She filed for divorce and took both me and my sister. I was so sad and angry, not about our family splitting up, but because I knew my life wasn’t going to be the same ever again.
We moved from Sacramento where I had gone to school all my life, to Rocklin, where I felt completely out of place. It wasn’t long until she met someone I didn’t like. So here I was, out of place away from family, friends, and everything I knew, with my mom wrapped up in her new relationship which left her no time for me. I had nowhere to turn. I was sad, lonely, just completely depressed. That was until I found friends like Linkin Park, Blink 182, and Adema.
My parents had always brought me up listening to 80’s metal and big hair ballads, nothing from the present era. One weekend I visited my grandparents and was sitting on the couch flipping through channels when I stumbled across this loud raw new sensation. I stayed tuned, taking in everything, listening, watching, and feeling. When the end of the music video came, at the corner of the screen I learned that this amazing music was by a band I had never heard: Linkin Park. The song that was calling my name was titled “One Step Closer”.
Ever since then I became a music junky. Changing and manipulating my moods according to how I wanted to feel. Whether I wanted to deepen a mood I was already in, or completely change it. It was so easy. It gave me something to relate to and use to take control of how I felt about my life. It started with rock, than I learned to adapt the feeling to all genres. Blink 182 when I wanted to laugh and have fun, Limp Bizkit when I wanted to feel tough, Garth Brooks when I wanted to feel sorry. My mood depends on my music, and like my music, I have a wide variety of moods.
I guess you could say music makes me feel, makes me what I am and what I can be. Music saved me.