I Believe A Father and A Dad Are Not Always The Same Person

Amanda - Des Moines, Iowa
Entered on September 9, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family

A dad is someone who cares for you, raises you, and teaches you all the important things about life, love and building character. A father, to me, is a colder term for a parent that helped conceive you. I believe a father and a dad are not always the same person.

My parents got a divorce when I was about six. They had fifty-fifty custody until I was about fourteen. I wanted to live with my mom full time; thus, the custody battle began. After years of arguing, until I was about eighteen, I was finally allowed to legally live with my mom full time. Through out this time my mom and I lived with her, for lack of a better word, “boyfriend” since I was nine. Steve, my mother’s boyfriend, is the best thing that has ever happened to both my mom and I.

When living with my father I always hated it there, I did not feel loved, and I felt like an object. My stepmother actually told me one day that she thought of me as a roommate and that is how she was going to treat me. Our conversations were so cold, there were never any feelings exchanged, I was forced just kept my feelings to myself and follow my father’s rules. I could go on about how horrible it was for me to live there forever. All I could do was to do what I was told and lived each day looking forward to the day I would go back to my mom’s house.

When my mom and I first moved into Steve’s house, I was a horrible child. I had no idea how to show love and affection. I associated love with pain and getting attention. I also used the word sorry so often that my mom finally came the point of telling me not to say it anymore, because either I did not know the meaning of it or I really did not mean it when I said it. I was all jumbled up about feelings and emotions because I was never allowed to show them before now.

My dad, Steve, is the most caring, sensitive, intelligent man that has changed my life and been more of a father to me than my father ever has, as well as, he has shown me more love and affection than my father ever physically could.

Steve, as a true dad should, has taught me things that my real or biological father should have. Steve taught me how to love, he showed me what the words “I’m sorry” really mean. He taught me that I could not yell back at my mom because it is completely disrespectful. He taught me how to ride a bike with out training wheels. He is the reason to this day that I never give up on anything, a challenge only makes you stronger once you complete it. He taught me how to drive a stick shift when I got my first car. He has stood by me and introduced me as his daughter when in all actuality I am someone else’s daughter. He is proud of me, he has shown me what it feels like to have a dad that truly cares, loves and appreciates me. Steve is my true dad no matter what my birth certificate says. I believe a father and a dad are not always the same person.