This I Believe

Alex - Florida
Entered on September 8, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: love, setbacks

“You really were a shining light for him. And such a good influence on him too.” Her words really hit me and made me think. I believe that being there for someone, when they need it the most can really change that person’s outlook on life. I had this complete realization on Saturday, August 23.

It all began a little over a year ago, him and I becoming a couple we were together (on and off) for around six months, then he messed it all up. He chose to be with another girl and that really hurt me. Regardless I still treated him with the utmost respect. The truth is I couldn’t let go. Or if I could have I wouldn’t be where I am today.

During the period that we weren’t associated with one another he got into a lot of mischief. He was making lots of wrong personal decisions that all ended up hurting him. Then finally he pushed the limit, and his parents decided to solve the problem. So they sent him away: Away from his home, the people he loved, and most importantly the bad influences, hoping that this would be a better environment for him. Before this him and I hadn’t talked for almost four months but when I found out about all of this, being the caring person that I am, I immediately called him to let him know that if needed I would be there for him. This was how we began talking again. He told me that I was one of the only people he talked to while he was away. He wasn’t even speaking to his parents. This told me that I was of some importance to him. My intentions were to be someone for him to kind of lean on or to be a shoulder to cry on in his time of need. Throughout the time he was away we got closer and sort of picked up where we left off. We decided that when he came home we would start hanging out again.

He came home from school in May, and when he did we were basically inseparable. We hung out all of the time and then started “officially dating” again soon after. The day he told me he loved me it melted my heart. He told me I had been an inspiration to him and helped him get through his struggles while being away. He also told me he didn’t want to lose me. In my mind I always wondered how it was that I brought about this positive change in him. It really made me feel good to know that I could influence someone’s life in that manner, that I had been the one to make a difference. He had quickly become my best friend and I was totally grateful to have him. I could tell him anything and he could do the same to me. I saw such an immense change in him. He had opened up to me so much compared to when we dated before. It was unbelievable that I brought out all of these characteristics in him. He was so caring and loveable towards me. Such a difference we’d made in just about half a year.

All during the summer he wasn’t sure whether or not his parents would send him back to school away from home. He was scared and he didn’t want to go and neither did I want him to. He tried hard all summer to stay away from the bad influences of his “friends”, but it’s really hard being around so many people that do the wrong thing and then not getting sucked into it yourself. He got in a few minor troubles while he was home, but that’s expected, though not excusable.

When it came to the end of the summer his parents didn’t want to be away from him but knew that it would be better if he was away from the mess that he was surrounded by. He began to agree with them. He realized that it really would be better for him, and he couldn’t get in trouble there. So his final decision was to just go ahead and do the right thing, knowing that it would all be better that way. Of course this was upsetting to me but I realized that it was better for him and I was willing to agree with his choice. He told me that he would understand if I wanted to see other people. I told him that it wasn’t what I wanted. He is still my boyfriend and I intend on being faithful. Hopefully when he comes home for good this will work out for us because I want him and I love him.

As I spoke to his mom on the telephone, requesting the address of his school so I could write to him, she spoke these words: “You really were a shining light for him. And such a good influence on him too.” I realized that these were true and he knows it as well as I do. I see the light in him.