By All Means, Procrastinate

Elizabeth - Western Springs, Illinois
Entered on September 7, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
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I believe in procrastination. I believe that wasting time is one of the natural rights, along with life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and sleeping in. And I believe that the best way to procrastinate can be summed up in two words: go online. The Internet may have been invented to speed up the work process, but really, the opposite has occurred.

I thought I was safe from this time-wasting monster. Due to AT&T refusing to provide service to my house, I spent most of my life going online maybe once a week at the library. Then, a miracle occurred. The heavens opened up, and the Lord said, “Let there be light-” wait, wrong miracle. I’m pretty sure that some kind of divine intervention, occurred, though, because one day I returned home from school. That’s not the divine intervention, don’t worry; I eventually return home from school every day. No, the miracle occurred when I double-clicked on the Internet Explorer icon. In the past, the screen always displayed the depressing “Page Not Found” message. This day, however, was different. My immediate reaction was to shout the name of the page that appeared: Yahoo! And from that day forward, I have never been able to complete assignments on time. Actually, I do manage to complete them in time, but not at a reasonable time. All thanks to the wonder that is the Internet.

Even while I’m writing this, I am managing to procrastinate. I know that I should be giving more effort, but the lure of YouTube is just too great. So, instead, I am writing a few words, then clicking over to Internet Explorer. Half an hour later, I realize that I should be writing, so I return to Word for a few minutes. It might only take me a few seconds to read this sentence, but it took me about an hour to write. All thanks to distractions. I know that I can just work on my homework, but that isn’t nearly as fun.

Do you remember the natural rights I gave earlier? I forgot to add “being distracted.” As proud, patriotic, red-white-and-blue-blooded Americans, we have the right to have our attention diverted at every possible second. And, of course, that is the very premise on which procrastination is built.