This I Believe

This I Believe

It is imperative for parents to be a positive role model in there child (rend) life from day one. No, I am not saying be perfect but lead by example. My life was pretty difficult not having parents that lead me in the right directions. However, I don’t blame them totally, I blame myself as well. My mother conceive me when she was a senior in high school and shortly after that when I was about seven years old my grandmother try to get custody of me for other reasons. Well I was place with my grandmother for eight years. In grade school I play around not knowing how important I will need the information in the future, basically I took school for granted. Not once my parents ask or even came to school to see how I was doing or even asked what you want to be when you grow up, at least I don’t remember. My grandmother was there and I can hear her saying “Do the best that you can even if you only make 70’s in school, I will be happy”. Fortunately, she was able to enroll me into private school in the sixth grade after I failed and I still took school for granted. I would see my mother every other weekend and my father everyday and then he got married, then often I will feel abandoned with in.

At the tender age of fifteen years old my grandmother past away at the young age of fifty from cancer of the lungs, I was devastated because I felt sometimes that she was the only one that truly loved me. I believed if it wasn’t for her I would have drop out of high school, although I continue school and play and took school for a joke. I was very active in school looking for the family bond and role model beyond my peers. I was a cheerleader, play volleyball, softball and a little of track. I would see my classmate’s parent’s show up to school and events and I will marvel because I wanted that, I craved to have a family of positive role models. I graduated High school in 1997 with nothing to really hold on to probably just enough to get by. I often get angry at my self sometimes for being such failure. I also dream about where I would have been in life if I had positive role models as parents… but I can only imagine. After graduation I sat out a year and enrolled in college the following.

Sometimes growing up it caused me to have resentment for my parents but as I evaluate them and they lives, they didn’t have positive parents either (wow). How can they teach me the way to go when they haven’t been taught themselves? But I often think to myself, if my parent didn’t have positive role models as parents why didn’t they start with me breaking the cycle. I guest if you want something bad enough you would have to embrace the change that comes along with it. When does the cycle stops…. It stops here in my generation and starts with me. I know now that in order for me to succeed, I can’t just do enough to get by, I have to do above and beyond what’s expected of me. I am proud to say I am happily married with two wonderful boys an eight year old and 5 months old and last but not least, back in college. For our sons, my husband and I will be that positive role model in they life by teaching them and leading by example the right way so they won’t have to experience what I went through growing up. My husband and I have a lot of love, training and leading to do. We will be positive role model in our children lives. This… is what I believe.