Forever. I cannot go back. That is what I used to think. Back to the time when life was long and you could buy several popsicles for a quarter. I am only 40. I could ride my bike to the corner store a few blocks away from Gram’s house, go to the pool and play at the playground all before going home for dinner. I always did everything with such childish enjoyment, to the fullest. I was always hearing the grown-ups saying, “have fun while you can, be a kid, it dosen’t last forever you know”.
As I grew up, I did not have to worry about who would have called and what did they want , there were no messages waiting when I got home. I thought it would be that way forever. The days were long and all the time in a day was enough.
At 32 I had Breast Cancer, I had a 6 year old son. I had chemo and radiation. I did not have time any more. I could not go back to how it was before, forever.
But then I thought about it, having cancer did not cause me to not be able to go back. I was not out of time. I had time. I had another baby at age 38, a girl. I am cancer free . I have time. I buy poplsicles, I go to the pool, I go ride bikes, the kids and I have forever.
I believe in the power of going back. I can go back and capture some of the best times I remember as a child, by being with my kids. I can go back to places I loved as a child and have the time to do it all again. In my childrens eyes we have forever, long days in which to have endless games of hide and seek, and picnics in the back yard. I believe our children are the key , the chance to go back.