Dealing with the Death of a Fantabulous Parent

Paula - Anniston, Alabama
Entered on August 18, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: family, gratitude

My mom was the greatest mom ever. Period. In fact, I invented a new word just to describe how great she was. She was just “fantabulous.”

My fantabulous mom recently died, a very sudden and unexpected early death. It took my quite a long time to understand why she had to leave me. But one summer day, I figured it out, and wrote my mom a goodbye and thank-you letter…

Dear Mom,

I know that you are watching out for me. I miss you. I was an ungrateful daughter in many ways, as you gave me so much. I realize that now, as I’ve met so many people that have only fractions of love for their children when compared to how you care for and loved me.

To be honest, your death has been a hidden blessing for me. The safety net of mom is gone only to be replaced by an apparent black hole of death, regret, and despair. But I have found another solar system on the other side of that black hole, and it’s filled with stars you hung in the sky just for me. In the northwest corner of that dark sky is the constellation of Benji Mutt, my favorite four-legged friend. You also gave me an entire constellation comprised of my bonus moms, who will never replace you but shine bright in my sky.

Thank you, Mom, for dying and allowing me to be free to make mistakes, learn from them, and become a better person. Thanks for loving me.

Your daughter and life,