I Believe in Nothing

Amy - West Jordan, Utah
Entered on July 23, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

I am agnostic. I don’t believe that it is possible to be 100% sure about anything in life. I don’t even think you can even be sure that you can never be sure.

Growing up in a strong LDS family, I never really doubted anything that they taught me. I followed the commandments of the church above and beyond the call of duty. I was always happy in what I believed and probably would have remained that way.

The LDS church their cornerstone is the Book of Mormon believes that if you read that book with an honest intent and give an honest prayer when you are finished you will receive an answer to confirm this belief. I had read the book when I was 15 and prayed, nothing profound had happened. I decided that I must have already known it was true so I didn’t need a life changing answer. When I was 17 I gave a copy of the book to a good friend of mine. He read it and a few weeks later called me. “Why do you believe it?” he asked me.

My classes at Sunday school and LDS seminary had taught me over and over again how to answer this question but when it came up I had nothing to say. This experience was eye opening to me because I had never questioned what I believe. The answer that they had always taught me to give was to bear my testimony. I thought I had a testimony, a strong one too. When I looked at it piece by piece I realized that I only had a testimony of simple human kindness. That doing good makes you feel inner peace.

After this experience I began to explore other religions. As I researched what they believed I found that the majority of them were fundamentally the same, with extremely similar commandments. I studied science and found that there were more answers to how we came to be than I had ever imagined. But I still haven’t been able to commit to any belief. However I don’t know if I want to.

I don’t believe in anything, but at the same time I believe in everything. I feel that there is a chance that any religion in this world may be true. Believing this I feel gives me a more open mind because I don’t look at people and think they are wrong. I used to do that; I used to pity anyone who didn’t know what I thought I knew. Now I find the beauty in the beliefs of others. I have a glimmer of hope that there is life after death, but I am at peace with the belief that there is not. I am no amoral because I like every other person have learned from mistakes I have made, found peace in following certain principles and want those I love to be happy.