I chose who i was, I choose to change

I am 45 years old, born disabled and abandoned at birth. yes there were barriers to overcome, but none were insurmountable. I also had the double blessing of being highly intelligent, and adoption by a loving and caring mother.yet i chose to feel sorry for myself and focused on the negative aspects of my life, sure it was difficult, but nothing i could not have risen above and conquered. instead i turned to self pity, drugs and alchohol. from the time i was 12 until the age of 37 I abused my mind my body and brought sorrow and suffering to all those around me. my life amounted to nothing and i was headed nowhere, uncaring, unfeeling, locked away in myself, these were my choices, no one elses. finally i was forced to look at myself to see that inside i was not the same person my outside self projected, I do have feelings, I do care about myself and others, I can succeed, and I can find a way to benefit not just myself, but society as a whole. I am 45 years old a new student at Boise State University, clean and sober and working towards becoming a drug and alchohol counselor. my past wasn’t forced upon me, I chose to do nothing, to be nothing, my choice no longer. better late than never, I choose to help others, choose to BE