Losing my Identity

Gloria - Mt. Airy, Maryland
Entered on June 9, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
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You’re unique. Just like everyone else. As an insecure perfectionist, I realize that I am always watching myself through the eyes of society’s standards. I try to see, made with make-up and the right clothes, if I am set apart, if I am different from the rest. But my voice only ends up blending in with the rest of the chorus that are desperately striving to stand out and pursue happiness as well. Humans are so focused on creating an identity for themselves in the society’s substitute image of money and fame that they no longer live for themselves.

I always hear motivational speakers armed with clichés encouraging me to unveil my true opinions and I am pressured to develop my own character. We are transfixed to have this mindset to be our own person, an individual, to be ourselves; but I find that impossible. Our mindset is always changing with society and our identity becomes the culture that is in at the time. This concept causes us to become self-centered and our world becomes tilted on a corrupt axis; revolving around our desires. We eventually get so caught up in the selfishness of searching for ourselves that we end up questioning who we really are. We do not live the best that we can be, but to be better than our neighbor in competition. We think being an individual would lead to freedom but it actually traps and hinders us from freedom.

I believe that we should not search for our identity but lose our identity. If I live my life, trying to figure out the reflection that looks back at me, I will never honestly discover myself. I have to face the fact that I will never reach the point of total satisfaction, I will never be content, and I will never be good enough on my own.

The only way to lose my identity, to be free, is to focus on becoming like the image of Jesus Christ. He lost his identity, crown and title of God to become human for the sinners. As a human, he stripped his pride and humbled himself to the lowest point until the nails of my imperfection were pounded through his hands. Jesus died the death of the worst criminal, for those who mocked him. And in the end, he reached the ultimate freedom with his resurrection and life for all. Just like I will too, in heaven. I need to lose my identity, surrender my pride as well as my heart, and hit rock bottom in order to rise up. I find that the seeking of self-motivation only leads to temporary happiness. It is impossible for me to create my own identity because I am too similar to the rest of the imperfect world. It all boils down to the fact that we are all sinners; we’re only human. It is our inevitable nature. And if the entire world acquired enough passion to lose their identity to unite under God’s image, we could all live a selfless life and perish the establishment of superficiality.

I know that we are made in God’s image and with my passion to live in his influence, I have lost my identity. Now I am able to live my life not to the current expectations, but for the overall perfection. And with this, I have lost my identity to receive so much more; an undeserved, eternal life.