My Enemy as My Friend

Laura - Los Angeles, California
Entered on June 9, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: illness

I believe that having a heart disease is the most horrible disease that a person can have because you always have the fear of not waking up the next morning. I was born with a heart disease and it has not been easy carrying this disease on my shoulders as if I were Atlas holding the world in place for eternity. Even though I look normal from the outside I am not always in good condition, sometimes I have to deal with my chest pains and my blood pressure issues. There was one occasion where I ended up in the hospital due to my chest pains, at first I didn’t pay much attention to the symptoms like dizziness and light headedness because they were always there especially when I received shocking news or when I would get really angry. These symptoms were normal for me because they were part of me even if I didn’t like it. I went from minor pinches in my heart to major and stronger chest pains that I couldn’t handle myself. A metaphoric knife hit me in the heart stabbing me to the point that I lost my breath, I felt like my disease was choking me to death. I was a warrior in an endless battle, I was slowly losing the battle and I was afraid for my life. I fainted after a horrible chest pain and I don’t remember what exactly happened, when I regained consciousness all I remember was telling my mother that I loved her because I thought I was going to pass out again. I wasn’t scared of dying, but I was scared of not being able to tell my loved ones that I love them and I was scared of not being able to accomplish my goals in life like I had planned. Having a heart disease made me become aware that I could leave this world in a matter of seconds. Every night after that incident I would be scared of closing my eyes and not being able to open them once more. I am thankful for having a heart disease because I have learned two valuable lessons. I have learned to appreciate my loved ones and live every second of my life like if it was my last one. I also learned that if my heart disease ends there wouldn’t be any more “me” and so I learned to make my poisonous enemy into my friend in order to survive. But I know that one day my friend will back stab me and put an end to my life and dreams.