Not Necessarily Bad

Christian - Cortland, Illinois
Entered on June 9, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

I used to think that the meek would inherit the earth. I thought that having even a speck of confidence constituted arrogance. But then I learned about the fine line between arrogance and confidence. I learned that even though most people have more confidence than necessary, it is better to be a little arrogant than not having any confidence at all.

I used to frown at my sister and people just like her. They are the ones who make their own way they are you a goals immeasurably high, and then they would reach them. They are the ones who think that it’s their competition to lose. I used to glare at my sister with disdain whenever my sister expressed an emotion of this sort. I would say things to “bring her back down to earth.” These comments, of course, she would completely ignore.

But then I met all the contestants on ANTM. Their view of life changed my whole perspective. I would scorn and detest the contestants like, Eva, Nik, and Jaslene. These three people were so sure that they could beat their competition and win. Their arrogance, as I perceived it, had incensed me so. And when they won, it put my burning anger over the top. After Eva won the coveted title, as America’s Next Top Model, I thought to myself that it must’ve been a fluke. But after Eva, I noticed that this cycle was repeating itself. Each contestant I would perceive as an egotist would come out with the title.

I am a person who analyzes patterns and I couldn’t help but notice this recurring pattern. Unlike the people who come out with the prize, contestants like Gina and Achal would just throw their many chances down the drain. What was so different between the people who come out winning and the people who falter? After watching countless episodes and seasons, I finally figured it out. People like Eva had the confidence to believe that they can reach the goal no matter what the cost, while people like Gina and Achal weren’t comfortable in their own skin; they were incapable of handling the pressure BECAUSE they lacked the confidence that was pertinent to the journey.

After this eye-opening realization, I began to analyze why I wasn’t reaching my goals. My stomach started to churn because the truth hurt. I lacked confidence, which can explain the puking before the debate final, and I wasn’t comfortable with myself. I cried myself to sleep that night, knowing that I needed to change.

And even though I am still healing, I’m learning to have enough confidence to do something spontaneous, once in a while, and to boost myself when needed.

I believe that in order to achieve success you have to believe in yourself, and listen to this old adage, “I think I can, I think I can.”