True For Me

Peter - Fair Haven, New Jersey
Entered on June 5, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
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I believe in living the life that you want to live, and doing what you love. I just hope that this is true for me.

A few months ago, I was with my dad having a conversation about my future. I realized that, as I’ve gotten older, he’s tried to instill more information on how to survive in the adult world. He doesn’t know that I’m not particularly fond of these conversations. I like being young, and since I’ll only be young once, I want to be treated young as long as I can. So I guess I’m never really into the conversation.

On this particular day, we were talking about jobs. Not really about jobs, but what kind of job will be right for me when I’m an adult. I really don’t know what I’ll do when I’m older, and I’m not ready to figure that out yet. But he asked me what I’d be doing, and I gave him the answer I’d thought he had wanted; “ a stock trader?” I knew his job had something to do with that. I don’t really know much about stocks yet, so I just thought of any job that had to do with that.

He did not give me the smile and praise I had expected, yet he sat there for a moment, taking it in. His expression of curiosity and ambiguity turned into frustration. His eyes focused in on mine. He wasn’t very happy with my response.

That day, he told me to do what I loved, and to not do what he did. I thought he loved his job, I mean he did it every day, and could you do something every day that you dreaded? I guess he did seem unhappy with it, and he clearly did not want me to follow the path he had taken years ago. He wanted me to be happy.

And my lie, telling my dad I wanted to do the same job as him, backfired on me, and now we both knew that I was quite unsure of what to do.

Since then, my dad still tries to have the career conversation with me. I always try to shrug it off, never really engaging myself into the talk. He still persists the “do what you love” idea, and asks me what I love. I know he’s just testing me; just seeing what I’ll say. I still don’t know what I’ll do when I’m older, and I’m not even sure what I love yet. I’m still young.

But I really hope when I do find out what I love, I can be successful with it. I really want to believe that this is true, that if you really love something, you can build a life from it. I don’t think it’ll make me the richest person in the world, but who knows. I’m still young.