Choice is the Beginning of the Victory and of the Defeat

Svitlana - Asheville, North Carolina
Entered on June 4, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
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Choice is the Beginning of the Victory and of the Defeat

Our mind is hard to understand. We make a lot of different rules, choices, and decisions in our lives. We can’t know what all the future holds for us. There are no guarantees. I’ve made my good and my poor choices, and they have helped me to change my life.

Originally, I am from the Ukraine. I grew up in a small village in a Seventh Day Adventist family. My grandparents, my parents, and most of the people I knew were very conservative and had a lot of rules that nobody needed. We had to finish all jobs by Friday sunset. On Saturday, we couldn’t do anything, like drive a car, climb a tree, or even use scissors. So when we decided to move to America, I got very exited. I thought that everything would be different.

When my family arrived to this country, I understood that changing places doesn’t change people. We were here the same family as we were in our country, but with even more problems. Because I was without job, language, and had a number of other problems, I start getting depressed. I hated my life, and felt like nothing would ever change. I didn’t have anybody that I could talk to, so I began writing a journal. One night I was just writing my thoughts in my journal and I wrote, “Choice is the beginning of the victory and of the defeat.” I didn’t know if I heard it somewhere or if they were my original words, but I knew one thing: they could change my life. I start thinking about my life differently, and about the choices that I would have to make in order to change it. I looked back on my life and started figuring out what I needed to do to change.

First, I would stop feeling pity for myself. Second, I would start looking at what I had and be happy with it. Third, I needed to stop thinking about my past and get busy with organizing my future. I believed in myself for the first time in my life. Before, I would depend on everybody but me. Now, I believed I could make my own choices even if I would have to break a few rules.

My road to this moment wasn’t easy. I took ESL classes and learned English. I found a good enough job to support myself. I went to college where I am right now, and I believe I changed my life. I believe in making the best choices at the moment. There is no right or wrong choices. No decision is perfect and all choices are made with some uncertainty.

I believe in the power of words that made me think about my life. I believe there is no black and white. I believe in alternative pathways without any rules. I believe in change. I believe we all need beliefs, and belief in our beliefs.