The Importance of a Father Figure

Shannon - Manhattan, Montana
Entered on May 27, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

I believe in the power of a father figure.

When I was one my parents got a divorce. Being so young, it didn’t affect me. But as I have grown, I have come to find that the power of a father figure is overwhelming.

I have always felt that there was something missing in my life. Growing up I didn’t feel that my family was complete. We had an amazing mother who raised five children on her own. We had the love of a family. But we were still missing something important: A father.

My father did not give me much; he did not teach me much. I had never felt loved by him; I fear to love. I fear that I will never truly love someone for I do not know how nor do I know what kind of love is to be returned to me. I looked in the mirror and saw his brown eyes looking back at me. They’re the only thing he ever gave to me. I think about how it was not fair that he was not there to hold my hand and dry my tears in times of need as fathers do. It is hard for me to consider him a father for he was never one to my siblings or me. He was never around.

I feel that brothers are the next in line when it comes to being the “man of the house.” But I have come to find it is hard for them to be just that when they have not had one to teach them. They know little of what it means to love your family and be loved in return. He was never around to teach them to hunt, fish, or play sports. He was never there to cheer them on as fathers do. He was never around.

My mother was the best mother/father in the world. Certainly, she was more than she should have needed to be. I could see how she was torn by his absence. I could see the pain she hid in her eyes. She did not have someone to love her for the wonderful person she was. Although she needed to get away, I knew she thought about him sometimes, wondering if he would ever change. Wondering if he would be the man we all wanted him to be, wondering if he would be true to his family as fathers do. But, he never came around.

The importance of a father figure is truly astronomical. He is needed to love, teach, and be around as fathers are.