Letting Go

Marissa - Princeton, Illinois
Entered on May 27, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: death

Have you ever lost someone special to you by a type of disease? I have. On May 1, 1978 I lost my grandfather to pneumonia.

I never got to meet the man, he died before I was born. The part that confuses me is that he was doing really well the day he died. I try to piece together what he would’ve acted like, his personality, all I have are pictures and video tapes.

Every May 1st, holiday, or just when my family feels like it, we go to his grave-site and clean it. Back in the day, he used to like working out in the bean fields and he liked to plant. So, we always plant new flowers at his grave.

Sometimes, I wish that I could bring him or another loved person back, but then remember that everything happens for a reason, don’t you? Or even some kind of medication might have saved him?

It’s hard letting the ones you love go. Then I think, maybe it was for the best. Would I rather have them lying there suffering or resting in peace? It’s better having memories of them.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m sad because I never got to meet him, or because he’s dead. For that reason I just let myself think both.

I ask my dad to tell me stories on how he came from Mexico, to the United Sates. He says he was one of the first of our family members to come. He also says it didn’t take as long to come into the country like it does now-a-days. My grandpa went back to Mexico to get more family. When he went back, he met my grandma. After they married, they agreed to go to the United States, but this time he had to wait for my grandma to become a citizen.

My grandpa died when my dad was just twelve years old. My dad had two old brothers, and a younger brother and sister. My uncles tried to help out a lot, but they were busy starting their own families. As my dad got older he helped out more and more around the house.

My grandpa showed leadership in our family, and persuaded every one to try new experiences. I will always remember my grandfather. I believe that you should never forget the ones you love. This I believe.