The Here and Now

I believe in the here and now.

I had always lived my life for tomorrow and the future. What was I going to be doing in five or ten years? What did I want to do? Then, my life changed.

Two years ago my brother was in a car accident that killed a person. I sat in the waiting room of the hospital on that day that I will never forget and thought about what I would do if my brother died. I thought about all the possibilities and even the funeral. I was sad and scared and cried a lot.

I put the thought beside me and focused on that moment in time. My brother wasn’t dead and I wasn’t going to give up on him.

My brother came out of that hospital alive but with two broken legs, a broken arm and a broken shoulder and a sense of guilt. Every time I looked at my brother for the next month my heart ached. I couldn’t stand seeing him in pain and in a wheelchair. He always smiled and laughed and tried to put it behind him. He was just thankful to be alive.

My brother’s strength during his weakest moment has showed me the reality of life. The past doesn’t change, and the future doesn’t always come. People make mistakes, my brother and I included. Accidents happen but the world doesn’t stop turning. Life will always go on, whether or not I’m ready.

I live my life now one day at a time. I can’t go back and change the past. I can’t stop my brother from getting in the car wreck. I can’t stop my dad from leaving us when I was three. All I can do is move on. I’ll smile when I’m happy and cry when I’m sad. I’ll call the ones I love today and tell them that they’re important to me. I wake up in the morning and make today the best day of my life. I believe in the here and now because yesterday’s already gone and tomorrow may never come.