May 12, 2001

Courtney - West Linn, Oregon
Entered on May 22, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, setbacks
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This date will never leave my mind. This day is the day I realized how lucky I am to be in the position I am in today. Sure I was only 11 years old, but I new very well I would never see my father again.

When I was young my parents divorced and went their separate ways. My mom, younger sister and I moved into a small apartment and later into a small house. During this time, my sister and I would visit our father every other weekend. I remember becoming very upset about being in this situation every other week. I did not get along with his new girlfriend and her children at all and I was always in trouble. I never wanted to go to his house because of this. Also, it seemed like every time I went to his house, I missed someone’s party or sleepover (at that age it was very important to me to attend these events).

As the relationship between my future step-siblings and me became thinner, the arguments between my mother and father became rougher. I remember getting in the car with my father after one of their arguments. I was scared out of my mind thinking he may turn around and snap at me. I tried my hardest not to cry. At this point, it was settled that I did not want to go to his house ever again. Unfortunately, this wish came true. That was our last visit to our father’s home.

Several weeks pass before May 12 rolled around. My mom sat me and my sister down in my room and told us we can’t see daddy for a month. She said he had to take some time off to get some things cleared up. For the first coupe of weeks, I was fine with it. It was nice to go see my friends on the weekends.

Two months passed. No word from our father. I asked my mom about it and she just told me “any day now”.

It’s been six years and eight months. To this day, I have not heard a word from my father. Today I can only wish I hadn’t taken advantage of those few weekends my sister and I had with our dad. I regret the way I acted when I was around him and I wish I had spent our time together enjoying his company. Now I treat every minute with every person as if it is our last chance to be together. Do not take anything or anyone for granted. You never know how they may influence your future.