Learning To Talk It Out

Diana - Lawrenceville, Georgia
Entered on May 15, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
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I believe in talking to relieve the pain instead of bottling it all up inside.

When my sister was 15, she was unexpectedly sent to a boarding school in South Carolina by my parents for behavioral reasons. I was only 11 at the time and very surprised about this event. My sister, Lauren was my role model. I wanted to be just like her. Suddenly, I didn’t know what to do. It felt like my world had been turned upside down. I felt as if I had nobody to talk to anymore.

At a young age, I became an only child for once in my lifetime. I was not used to all of the attention and did not appreciate it all. I kept getting asked how I was feeling and if there was anything wrong. I had the strong urge to tell somebody what was wrong, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to tell my parents because they were the ones who sent my sister off and I didn’t want to tell my friends because I didn’t want to be judged. I felt as if I was in a tight closed in bubble where nothing – not even a tiny leak – could be set free.

I shut down myself from others and began acting like I was the happiest one in the bunch. People believed it for a while and I put up a good image. However, I could not handle it after a while. I could not handle keeping all of my feelings of pain and sadness bubbling up inside. I just burst. I had to let everything out. I told my parents everything that I was feeling. They were quite surprised to hear that I was feeling those things, but I couldn’t hold them in any longer.

My belief is derived from the pain that I went through during the two years that I held it in while my sister was at boarding school. I believe that people can feel relieved and a lot better once they have talked to somebody. This can be from having a conversation with a total stranger on the bus beside you or talking to your best friend. It is good to just let everything out because if you keep holding it in, you may go through the same thing that I did or maybe even worse. Life is too short to not talk. Live it the way you want it to be.