If Only…

Krystina - Cortland, New York
Entered on May 11, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: purpose
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I believe in fate. I believe that all things in this universe are connected, and that everything happens for a reason. Cliché? Maybe, but I am sure that every aspect of my life was determined by prior events that happened to occur in the perfect ways, at the perfect times, and at the perfect places. Seemingly insignificant decisions made by myself and by others have drastically altered the direction that I had expected my life to travel.

Ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you that I go to bed abnormally early on nights that we go out. I always miss out on what seem to be the best parts of each weekend because I am contently lying under the covers while everyone else socializes and makes memories. On one particular night, however, I mysteriously stayed awake after we got back to the dorm and continued to visit with my friends. One of my friends dared me to go out into the hallway, because I just might have run into one of the guys who lived on my floor. I followed her advice and ventured out into the hallway.

There, I was confronted by a guy who I had previously never even seen before. After happening to wander into the hallway from a friend’s room at the same time, he informed me that he was offended by the way that I had allegedly picked on him in the dining hall a few weeks earlier. He also let me know that his friend saw me pretend to grab his rear while we were in line to check out (which would not be much unlike me, to be honest, so I very well may have). This was all very surprising to me, since I had no recollection of ever specifically picking on him, much less ever having laid eyes on him. We had a screaming match-like argument for about an hour before he left. Shortly after, he came back, apologized, and we watched Disney’s The Little Mermaid together.

That unknown guy, Steve, is now my boyfriend of almost a year. We have been inseparable since the wee hours of the morning of March 4, 2007. I am looking forward to a bright future with him, and am extremely thankful that I happened to have picked on him, pretended to grab his rear, gone out that night, stayed awake, ventured into the hallway, and ran into love.

Because I believe in fate, I think that I live each day a little more relaxed than most. I have faith that everything will work out, and that all events will unfold the way that they are supposed to. After an unfortunate event, my initial reaction is sadness or anger, but eventually I can accept that whatever happens is probably “for the best,” that I can’t change the past, and that whatever will be, will be. Que será, será!

Consider the last time you were running late to leave the house. You may have avoided a tragic car accident. Think about the people who avoided the terror of 9/11 because of transportation delays. How did you meet your friends? Your spouse? I am sure that we can all think of ways to fill in the following: If only I had/hadn’t________, then I would have/wouldn’t have_________. Fate is beautiful. Whether it allows for the best or for the worst to happen, it certainly has an eloquent way of shaping our lives, whether we know it or not.