Punching the Rearview Mirror

Lena - Louisville, Kentucky
Entered on May 5, 2008
Age Group: Under 18

Because of my crazy junior year at Pres, I’ve decided that I’m not going to look back on my past anymore. I’m punching the rearview mirror and not looking back. This year hasn’t been full of tragedies by any means, but it has been a rough year. I’ve cried, laughed, and been ready to pull my hair out. That’s why I don’t want to look back anymore. I found out that if we hold onto all the regrets that we have throughout the years, all it will do is continue to haunt us. We made those mistakes for a reason, and would have eventually.

I had to let go of my past to get into my future. Before this year, everyone always said that I had such a bright future. “Oh, you’re so smart. You should be a doctor.” Blah, blah, blah. I never believed them. I’ve made to many mistakes. I didn’t play the sport that I was in love with and gave it up for a guy that was worthless. Who cares if we didn’t get to spend as much time together because I had practice? I didn’t even try out. So then I become a cheerleader in the hopes of filling the gap that basketball left. But all that did was leave me wanting to be on the court, getting a fast break. I slacked off in school because I was lazy and wanted to make sure I lived up my high school days. Now I can balance that. I didn’t try to make friends because I was scared that they wouldn’t like the real me. So I became the sarcastic joker that no one could get close to. And I had no one. But for a while, I thought I had made mistakes that weren’t worth trying to fix.

Now that I’ve grown up, and been through the year that I have, I realized that the only reason that I’m not happy is because I forgot that I’m still the person I was before, I’ve just learned more along the way. Now I know that I probably would’ve ended up making the mistakes I made anyway, but in an even bigger way. I would’ve stayed with the boy, failed freshman year, and not found the friends I have now. So I’m punching out that stupid rearview mirror because today I’m done looking behind me. I’m me: mistakes at all. Love me or hate me, but I don’t give you the power to break me.