I Believe In God
It was a moment of truth, a moment of despair and a moment of unable to go on, all at once. This was the moment I felt about a year or two ago sitting in my kitchen with my mom. How am I supposed to live my life? To be honest I suffered from depression and frequently. I was tired of depression and the way I conducted my life. I filled my heart with things only temporary. I guess I made temporary things into idols or the center of my life. These things made me happy for the time being, but soon left me sad and empty hearted. Like the time when I had a boyfriend. He was the center of my life and I pushed God away. I didn’t think I needed Him. So when we broke up I was sad and disappointed. I thought that Justin would always be there for me. Why wouldn’t he? He was in the center of my world. So when I was in the kitchen with my mom. I told her I was tired of being depressed and alone. I guess I was in the middle of a desert with no direction, because everything looked the same. I knew something was missing. Was this the way life would be for me? I was unsatisfied.
I needed to re-invite God into my life. I needed a new beginning. I needed promises and someone or something that I could hold onto. I also needed to live my life better and change apart of me that I didn’t like. So then and there in my kitchen my mom prayed with me a simple prayer accepting God to come live inside of my heart and change me inside. She also gave me this Bible verse that went “So Jesus said to them ‘because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, Move from here to there, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20) I was given a new hope because this verse meant that I would be strong in my faith in Him and with God all things are possible. My love for Him grew; and I grew to trust Him in everything. I couldn’t worry any more or be unsatisfied with life.
That’s why I believe in God. I know that my life changed after I accepted Him. I was refreshed and I didn’t need to hold onto or look to things to keep me happy. Friends won’t complete me, boyfriends will never be my whole world, and money will disappear. In the end of the day everything could be taken away from me and I will still have my faith that God will be for me and fight my battles and protect me. Because I believe In God my days are clearer and I have a happiness that comes only from the grace of God. I am not saying life is clearer because I have conflicts just like everybody else, but I trust in God to help me work things out and make decisions.
I believe in God. I believe in His saving grace, His love, His peace, and His hope. I know that whatever happens, good or bad, He will be with me. He will fight my hardships and disappointments. He is making me a better person each day. I will follow Him because I believe in God.