Living my life is what I believe. I am constantly force feed ads on internet, television, radio and other media outlets shoving lifestyles and career paths I’m supposed to choose for my life. Lectures from professors, mentors, my parents and other authority figures in my life preach a standard I should live up to, and what it takes to become successful and happy. The knowledge passed is deeply appreciated, but it has done little to bring consistent happiness in my life. I have Ideas of what I could be if I stay focused the goals I set in front of me, but as I asses my current situation my dreams are a little higher than I can reach.
I did not want to disappoint those I look to for guidance with this sudden revelation, but lessons learned from them brought me allowed me to decide what I want to do with life. I cannot begin to tell what is going to happen to me in life because I don’t know, but experiences in my life has forced me to keep a positive outlook on the future no matter the circumstances. Every event that has played a significant part in my life has molded who I am, and I had no control of how any situation came to be only my actions as they were occurring. I want to live my life and I will let the rest play its way out. Living my life for the in the future and failing to prepare for it has brought more stress then happiness which brought me to a place I did not want to be.
I catch myself going through the motions, turning myself on and off daily like a computer fulfilling others needs that come in contact me with hopes that it would satisfy me, but it hasn’t. I’m 22 years old and have no clue of what is to come and how I will be when I am there so I began to tell myself to live with I have done and build on what I have. Living my life first brought negative reactions to what I do from close friends and family, which allowed those who believe in me to become closer to me with trust and respect that, can only be earned.
I can’t say I have not been living life because that means I would have been in a coma my whole life, but something was not right in my life which continued to bring me down. Sacrificing time and money along with trying to keep up with latest fashions has failed to satisfy something inside me that I had been missing; I had been missing all the joy’s that life really had to bring. I have a outlook on life that works for me and im going to continue to live by that