Stand in the rain

Elesta - mason city, Illinois
Entered on April 30, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: setbacks

When I was little my sisters and brother would pray it didn’t rain I would, however, pray it did. If it rained my father would usually come home from work. Except for a day or two I do not remember a happy time with him. He would drink, yell, or glare when he was home. Also he would often get in fights with my mom. My siblings would ask me why I wanted rain. I could never explain to them correctly why.

If it rained I could escape my life. I would go outside to the back yard and find a spot where I was sure no one inside could see me. I would then stand or sit on the ground, looking up at the sky, in till I was able to forget everything. I was only taken from this daze when my father came home and I heard shouting from inside. Then I would only hear the sound of the rain on the houses and feel the drops slid down my body making me shiver. I don’t know who saw me but shortly before my dad was gone at least one of my siblings would always go outside with me. However they always brought an umbrella. After awhile my sisters and brother built me a little play house off of the garage.

They made it as a birthday gift to me. I never used it when it rained because to me if you don’t feel the rain it doesn’t work as well. They were the ones who used it. My sisters and brother would all sit inside the run down looking lean-to and watch as I went into my own little world. They called it my oasis. They would laugh and joke around but they always made sure I didn’t stay out in the rain to long. They were afraid I would get sick. When my dad was no longer living with us my siblings thought that I would stop standing in the rain. But I still did.

I didn’t do it as often but every time I had something I couldn’t talk about I would stand in the rain. As I got older I learned to block everything out by myself. I no longer stood in the rain as often as I did. Now I go into my own world only when I really feel the world is going to end. I still stand there and let the rain wash away my pain. I believe that no matter how old you are you should stand in the rain. While your problem does not go away it gives you a break where you can feel at ease and think about the problem and find a solution.