Changing Through My Daughter’s Cries

Michelle - Norfolk, Virginia
Entered on April 29, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

Changing Through My Daughter’s Cries

I believe that my daughter Isabella changed my life. My life is more important because of her.

I believe that a rocking chair is a bonding place for a mother and her child. I held Isabella gently in my arms, feeling her silky smooth baby skin, as I rocked back and forth, with her in that rocking chair that means so much. Isabella and I bonded in our rocking chair that was handed down from my best friend’s family, which is Isabella’s godmother to our family. This precious gift allowed us to bond together. At night, looking at the bright moon light shining through the window as she quietly fell asleep was our time together, just the two of us.

In the beginning things were great, but after a week Isabella changed. I noticed her crying more and more. Every day was about how much and how long she would cry, and she would cry 4 to 5 times a day for at least an hour or more. A colicky baby is what she was; she would cry excessively for an unknown reason and there nothing anyone can to do comfort her. Her being a colicky baby took over and the comfort we once found in rocking is no longer there. The moon light that we once looked at through the wind is no longer there; nothing was the same.

I struggled to understand what to do for Isabella. I found myself, feeding her, changing her pamper, holding her, singing to her, rubbing her tummy, and rocking her in an effort to comfort her. Even though I tried everything, nothing worked. I was at a point in my life where I felt like I had no control. I was at a point where I wanted to give up. At some point in time in everyone’s life they will reach a time they feel powerless, but the key to surviving is having faith.

One night, when Isabella was crying, I began to cry too. I had never cried before, but this time I just felt alone. I started to rock in the rocking chair alone to find away to comfort myself. I wanted to do things for myself and not for Isabella anymore. The crying had gotten to me. I realized that my biggest struggle is not with Isabella being colicky, but with the fact that “it’s not about me.” It is about me learning to think of others first and it is about keeping faith in the middle of my struggle.

In spite of my struggles, I learned how to be a better person and I learned how faith got me through the tough times. For anyone who may be struggling with something or has been struggling with something, faith is all you need to overcome anything in life. This I believe that through my daughter’s cries I became a better person, I learned how to live an unselfish life, and I learned the importance of having faith.