Sex or Love

Shannon - Pflugerville, Texas
Entered on April 26, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

I believe in abstinence. In a time when the rate of teenage pregnancies and single mothers skyrockets; I believe in waiting. As such, exclusion from the seductive realms of society is an insignificant sacrifice that I am willing to make. A person’s love should be conserved for the man or woman who lawfully has right to it. Why would I be attracted to the negative emotional consequences and gossip chains, which result from the unauthorized sexual relations that govern popular culture anyway?

Abstinence until marriage facilitates the expression of utmost infatuation between spouses and protects a high percentage of children from abortion. Unwanted pregnancies, which result from the spontaneous hormones of star-crossed lovers, initiates tension between couples and complicates the life of an unborn child, who deserves a devoted family that lives, loves and learns together throughout their time on this earth.

I believe in abstinence because sex is more than a physical and extracurricular activity that feels spontaneous, risqué and fun. The comfort a man and woman give each other reduces their lonely, depressed states, yet spending time with friends and family provides the same satisfaction. A wise man once told me, “every time you have sex with a new person, you give away a piece of your soul, until one day you have nothing left to give.” What happens then to the sexually active, voluptuous people, who eventually find the true love they want to settle down and spend the rest of their time with?

Abstinence protects the reputation of women and men alike. In popular culture, sexually active, unmarried women are scarred and labeled as sluts or whores even if their ways change over time. Men are referred to as pimps and are cheered by their fellow friends as popular and smooth with the ladies. This unfortunate judgment of non-abstinence men and women stereotypes all people as virgin or sexually active and faithful or unfaithful. Unauthorized sex gives men the power and portrays women as objects of their desire. However, abstinence promotes equality between men and women because it decreases the chances of divorce, since couples marry out of true love, rather than spontaneous passion or obligation to an unborn child.

I believe in abstinence because I believe in true love. Love doesn’t come around every day, but when it does people have got to take hold of it and fly. While soaring through the ups and downs of a relationship, two people learn about one another’s likes and dislikes, loves and hates, fears and dreams, accomplishments, rejections, inner secrets and soul. Relationships based on non-abstinent passion don’t survive because passion fades over time. Yet, love never fails. First Corinthians, chapter thirteen, verse four through seven, “love is patient, love is kind, is not jealous; love does not brag, is not arrogant […] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” This is why I believe in abstinence.