God is with us

Ryan - langhorne, Pennsylvania
Entered on April 24, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

God Is With Us

I was in 7th grade when I first smoked marijuana, 8th grade I lit my first cigarette, and later that year was the first time I tasted alcohol. Throughout my adolescence, I have suffered through a shaky relationship with my parents, a recurring illness that controls my life, and the simple absence of peace. I grew up a Christian and have believed my entire life, yet I was never able to pull any satisfaction from my faith. Halfway through 11th grade, my illness hit me hard. It got to the point to where I couldn’t leave the house and was forced to be home schooled. After two weeks of this I could no longer bear it. I started abusing prescription drugs daily. I knew that it was just temporarily just filling a hole in my life and in the end it would do nothing but hurt me, yet I did not care When summer came around I had established an addiction, and I was able to keep my drug use to a minimum. There was no stress from school, I was healthy, and was relatively happy so I felt no need to use them. My illness returned in the fall, so I turned back to the only thing I knew would comfort me: drugs. I turned back to the only thing I knew would comfort me, and that was drugs. The addiction that I had turned into a life controlling habit. On top of the pain killers, I started experimenting with harder drugs.

One Sunday I was in church and but something my pastor said caught my attention. He mentioned how God desires to have a relationship with us. He tries to talk to us through his creation. This hit me hard, I felt that God was trying to talk to me, but I was not sure how. A few weeks later I was walking and I believe God spoke to me. It was a ray of light that shined down through leaves on a tree. So I didn’t exactly hear God talk to me, but I experienced hope. Hope was something I had not felt in a long time. The next day my parents, who had been completely oblivious to my drug problem, caught me on pcp shrooms. Three days later I had found myself in rehab. Rehabilitating myself was difficult, but God gave me strength.

I believe that God accompanies us every day, and that God is with every one of his children. He longs to have a relationship with all of us, and to protect us. When we feel trapped, He provides a way out. I now live my life like God is sitting next to me. Every time I think about using again, I think of God. After all that he has done for me, there is no way that I could turn my back to him.