I believe in feeling passionate about your goals and life, and I believe in never taking your current life for granted.

Dave - Goffstown, New Hampshire
Entered on April 17, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
  • Podcasts

    Sign up for our free, weekly podcast of featured essays. You can download recent episodes individually, or subscribe to automatically receive each podcast. Learn more.

  • FAQ

    Frequently asked questions about the This I Believe project, educational opportunities and more...

  • Top Essays USB Drive

    This USB drive contains 100 of the top This I Believe audio broadcasts of the last ten years, plus some favorites from Edward R. Murrow's radio series of the 1950s. It's perfect for personal or classroom use! Click here to learn more.

For most of my life I had been considered as an indifferent person who faced problems lightly. I had never cried at a funeral, and I had never been largely affected by visiting a memorial. I used to watch the news and hear stories of death, and I would end up watching a comedy show after it. In each case, I was unable to show feeling, and instead I chose to be indifferent. Because of those indifferences that I had felt through the years, I believe that I had been missing out on life.

Multiple times in my life I have reflected on my past and have wanted “to go back” to that time. However, during that situation, I had unappreciated the experience. At those times I had felt unattached to the situations, but immediately after them, I had missed them all, and wanted to relive them. For example, at the age of twelve, I was given the chance of a lifetime. My Little League all-star team had made it to the state championship, and as the shortstop I was a major part of the team. For most, this experience would be considered incredible, but for me this experience was no different than any schoolyard game I had played. Two straight days my team was one out away from going to Bristol, and in each circumstance I honestly did not care if we had won or lost. After blowing both of our chances to end the series, a 204-foot home run by Spencer Swartzmiller ended our season. That year, our team party was spent watching the team that we had lost-to play on ESPN. On the field I had believed that a loss would not affect me, but as I watched ESPN, my indifferences turned to regret.

What had caused this lack of feeling in my life? I was not incapable of showing emotion, but I had feared showing it. As I grew up my older brother told me stories of how I should never trust women and that eventually “they all would break your heart.” As an older brother this seemingly reliable source became my inspiration for my life. Whether it was a girl, game, or even my parents, I acted as if I was indifferent in the hopes of never being disappointed. For years I had acted this way until a miracle happened, my nephew was born. As my sister’s son turned two, I realized that I was a major role model in his life. With my brother’s philosophy I had wanted to relive my entire life, but as my nephew’s role model I could not follow my brother anymore. As that role model I was forced to realize that life is not about myself and that although disappointments are everywhere, it is still worth it to live with passion. I cannot take back my past actions and indifferences, but I can attempt to live by my new belief, my belief of never taking life for granted again.