Stronger and Healthier Marriage

Elizabeth - Boyne Falls, Michigan
Entered on April 17, 2008
Age Group: 30 - 50
Themes: equality, family
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Stronger and Healthier Marriage

I believe that there would be stronger and healthier marriages if husbands and wives contributed equally to a marriage.

The couples would not nag, and fight less, which means fewer marital problems. As a result, there would be fewer divorces if every marriage shared responsibility equally.

At our home, my husband and I do not have set “chores” or “to do lists.” There are everyday tasks that we both work at. If either of us is busy, we will pick up the slack for the other.

For instance, my husband works eight hours a day from 6:00 a.m.- 2:30 p.m., during the winter months I go outside and shovel before he arrives home. I could do this because I lost my job last year, and before that I worked third shift for six years.

Nevertheless, that is one example of our current society. As time pushes forward, so does our everyday lifestyle. In the last four decades, many women have joined the work force, leaving far fewer housewives and homemakers. It is very rare and almost extinct for a woman to only care for the children and housework, and the man to only care for the mechanical and outdoor chores. The majority of advertisements on television today, show both sexes involved in sharing the responsibilities of managing a household. In these ads, a man may be cooking or cleaning and a woman may be mowing the lawn or washing and cleaning a car.

Another example from our home, since I have returned back to school and now have homework that has to be done, my husband has prepared and cooked a few dinners. He even went as far as picking up and washing the dishes. If I have extra work, he can be very versatile around the house. He does his best to help me, and I do my best to help him. That is why our marriage works well.

The way I view it, a marriage is two people who join up to create a team similar to a competition. If these two people cooperate and work with one another as a team, things work more smoothly and can usually get further ahead. This pretty much works the same for a marriage.

Until I wrote this paper, I never really gave this subject much thought. My first two marriages ended in divorce because there was no equal partnership. In my first marriage, my ex-husband would not keep a decent job to support me and our boys. In my second marriage, my ex-husband would not allow me to work and only thought of me as good enough to stay home with the kids and bring in income with child support. In my opinion, neither one of those marriages were healthy. My husband of the last five years and I argue and disagree, which to an extent, is normal in a marriage, but at least we share an equal partnership.