Loaded Words

Kellene - San Jose, California
Entered on April 9, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
Themes: family, love

I believe in love. I’m eighteen years young and with my small range of knowledge and understanding that is one of the few things that I can say for certain.

The word love is so much more complex than it appears on paper. It is a small, four letter word, but the meaning and emotion that it involves is so great. I remember having my first boyfriend when I was just barely thirteen. I was sure I was in love. My parents would always tell me I wasn’t and that I didn’t understand but I didn’t care. I was a stubborn teenager and figured just because I was young didn’t mean I couldn’t love someone. Yes, I am only five years older now than I was then, but the experiences I’ve had and the observations I’ve made have taught me so much.

Love comes with happiness, pain, grief, excitement, joy, worry, and about a million other adjectives and they all make love worthwhile. I always knew that my parents loved me and that someday I would find someone to love and marry but it wasn’t till last June that I really understood. My grandmother passed away and this was the first time someone close to me had died. My whole family traveled out for the funeral services, and it was in those few days that I came to believe in love. There were displays of love all around me and I couldn’t help but notice. There were tons of people there who loved my grandmother as their friend, there were kids and grandkids that loved their nurturer and the woman who spoiled and raised them, and then there was my grandfather. All my life I saw my grandfather as such a strong, stable man and it was heartbreaking to see him so low and depressed. It came time for the funeral and my family met before so we could all say our last goodbyes before the casket was closed. With a shaky voice I told my grandmother I loved her, kissed her forehead, and stepped away as tears quietly ran down my cheek. The family all had said our final words but my grandfather. As he approached my grandmother’s casket and began to cry I could feel of his love for her. I could no longer hold back my tears when I saw what love can do to such a strong, grounded man. He said, “I love you!” as he held her hand and I have never before heard it with such conviction. There was sixty years of feeling and emotion that was summed up in those three words.

I was converted, a true believer in love. It’s amazing to me to think someone can feel so much for someone, and I can’t wait to share such a strong emotion. I believe. I believe we can all one day feel as strongly as my grandfather did for my grandmother.