I believe that divorce can be a good thing

Stephanie - Hollywood, Florida
Entered on April 1, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
Themes: change, love
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I believe that divorce can actually be a good thing. Most kids and teens are completely against the idea of their parents being separated; however, I have always felt differently. When I was around 8 years old, my uncle and his wife went through a horrible divorce. I remember thinking that what my uncle was doing to his kids was horrible and the idea of divorce became a taboo to me. I remember always thinking how I would feel if my parents made such a decision. After seeing how my cousins reacted to the news of their parent’s separation, I thought that it would be the most traumatic experience any child could go through. However, I always pictured how I would handle it if it happened to me. A part of me (possibly the overdramatic part) even wanted it to happen. Every time I had these thoughts, I’d try to force them out of my mind, telling myself that it would never happen and that I was being stupid.

Little did I know, my mother had been unhappy with my father for years. She felt that he verbally abused her and me, and she got to a point where she couldn’t even be around him. The first time my parents got separated, I remember automatically thinking that it was my fault. I don’t know if I felt like this because of the thoughts I had or because my mother told me that she couldn’t handle the way he treated me. However, I also remember thinking that the pain wasn’t as horrible as I imagined it. Of course it was weird to not have my father in the house anymore, but the emotions that I had seen in my cousins weren’t there for me. My parents started going to therapy, and my father changed completely. He tried everything to keep my mom from leaving him and changed everything she disliked in his personality, but I guess she had fallen out of love with him.

My parents separated and got back together 4 times before they actually got divorced. Throughout all this drama, I got involved in my own life. It got to the point that I didn’t even acknowledge the situation with my feelings. It was just there as a part of my life. I never cried or hated the idea of my parents not being together. I even started to think that something was wrong with me because I never cried. I thought I was selfish and stupid, but as time went by, I realized that I just saw the bigger picture.

Today, I realize that if my parents were still together, my life would only be more difficult. Not only are my parents both much happier since their divorce, but they have also both become better people. They are both doing things in their lives that they always wanted to do and never had the chance. Besides the joy of seeing my parents happy, I realize that if they were still together, they would only be stricter towards me and many little things would be a problem. It might sound weird and maybe even evil, but I really do believe that divorce can be a good thing.