I Believe in Inner Strength

Jacquelyn - Fairfield, Connecticut
Entered on March 27, 2008
Age Group: Under 18
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I Believe in Inner Strength

She always used to joke about what she would look like her in casket, but when the day came it wasn’t much of a joke.

My best friend since I was in kindergarten was basically like my sister. Her family was my family and her mom was my second mom. One person that really made a difference in my life and changed the way I looked at things was her aunt Pennie. I was closer to her then I was to my own aunts and she met the world to me. Whenever she was visiting from New York I would be at Taylor’s house in a heartbeat to get the warming, loving huge from Pennie.

Pennie did not have the best life. She was divorced with two kids. One was a drug addict that was in and out of rehab. The other was a rich famous guy that could careless about his mother. And her ex-husband and her hated each other. So Taylor, Liz (Taylor’s mom) and I were Pennie’s world. It felt good to mean that much to someone. Even though all of this was happening in Pennie’s life she always had a smile on and always could give you a kind word.

Then the day came when death wasn’t such a joke anymore. I had just gotten home from school and I got an unexpected call from Taylor. I answered the phone to sniffles and cries. She continued on and explained how Pennie had collapsed in her apartment and the police found her. She was in a rush and had to go because her and Liz were going to New York to visit her in the hospital but she very quickly stated that the doctors said she had less then a month to live. Pennie was only a little bit over 50 and suffering from emphysema. She did not deserve to die. At least like this and in so much pain. All the visions of us having those amazing laughs together continued to run through my head. Why Pennie? Why do the good people die young? I continued questioning everything. I got off the phone with Taylor and cried more then I have ever cried before. Two days later I got a call from Taylor at 6 in the morning, Pennie had died.

I never got to say goodbye to her. Now she was gone and never coming back. A piece of my heart broke off when I heard the news. I had to keep strong for Taylor and her family. I went to the funeral and just remembered all the good memories of Pennie. Taylor and I hugged each other for hours and mourned Pennie’s death with all the cries. We agreed to stop crying though because it was not going to bring Pennie back, and God took her away for a reason.

I believe inner strength is what got me through Pennie’s death. When all you want to do in life is give up you have to get into reality with yourself. You need to stay strong and find your inner strength. The strength that keeps you moving forward when all you want to do is give up.