I Believe What I Want Too

Ian - Hillsboro, Oregon
Entered on March 13, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30

I never gave my own philosophies

much thought, but all I can really decipher is

that I’m just trying to get through life right

now. So many things have happened over the

last several months in my life. Everything I

had ever believed or thought of has

completely changed. At the moment, I really

don’t care much of anything else then the

basic necessities. When I see a “life hurdle”

coming at me all I can really do is get over it

anyway I can.

I have never had to make any big

and important choices in my life; every thing

up till now has been completely

inconsequential. The next couple of months will

be life changing and I need to figure out what

I’m going to do. I can’t stay at home forever, I

will eventually have to move out and start


I guess when it really comes down

to it, I will really just have to make a choice,

regardless if its good or bad , right or wrong. I

just need to make it and accept it. Ever since

my parents divorced, my logics have been

altered; I have been having second thoughts

occasionally. My parents have been a major

influence in my life and have always given me

guidance. Ever since their divorce it’s been

twisted into ways that have questioned either if

what I hear from them is necessary or not. My

mom tells me this; my dad tells me that, blah,

blah, blah, I’m tired of hearing it. Instead of

hearing positives, all I hear is negatives. I’m

not saying that what my parent choose to tell

me is right or wrong, its just about time I

forged new beliefs for myself, either their

right, wrong, good, or bad.

Coming up with my own belief isn’t

something I could simply right on a piece of

paper. It’s something that is made over years

of experiencing different challenges and

obstacles and gaining knowledge of what

others can teach me. Taking bits and pieces of

information from thousands of different sources; molding your own logics and beliefs

from them. Quite honestly, all I can say is that

believe what you want too believe.

Forget what others think and only

think what you need too. Don’t worry about if

it’s right or wrong, or if somebody else

questions your motives. Just as long as you’re

happy with it, nothing else should matter. If

you like going with the flow or being unique

that’s ok too. I don’t need to make my own

beliefs public because they should not matter

to anyone else. If I don’t know what to

believe, then I will have to find something,

whether it’s from friends or family, teachers or

books, logics or beliefs, I know what I

believe, but do you?