Uncontrollable Angers

Dean - Lakeside, California
Entered on February 20, 2008
Age Group: 18 - 30
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Uncontrollable Angers

Why is that when tempers flare, and anger overwhelms your being it is always regretted? Perhaps it is because humans are to quick to react? Possibly it is because the consequences are never premeditated and the final outcome is always hurtful.

A few months ago my grandfather passed away. He was an extraordinary man whom I loved dearly. He and my grandmother watched me every day after school for many years. To state the obvious, we were best friends. In late September the doctors noticed signs of cancer on his liver and pancreas. This news hit my family like a train wreck. My grandfather was diagnosed with stage 1 cancer; he was about to obtain his first treatment of chemotherapy. However, in early November he began to vomit a dark colored liquid. As an EMT, I know that this is blood and that it has been in the stomach; which ultimately means there is an internal bleed. My grandpa fell down the morning of November 12, 2007. My grandmother called my mom and me; we rushed over there to find him lying on the floor, unable to stand. I called 911; he was rushed to the hospital, and upon arriving in the emergency he then vomited blood on me. It was 5 in the morning, and I was enraged. He died about nine hours later with me by his side. Then I realized it. The last day I had with my grandfather I was mad at him. Of course he did not mean to do it, for he was severely ill. I on the other hand was the one who felt the worst. I was his boy; he always told me how he was so proud of me. Now the thing that hurts the most is I let my anger get the best of me.

Ultimately, I have learned to not get so enraged when someone makes a mistake or even does something to you that you do not necessarily like. I learned this lesson completely that infamous day my grandfather died. I will no longer be able to be with him on this earth; none of us will. All of our regrets will be with us for the rest of our lives, and this is one of mine. I only did it because I was so tired; however, I wish it never happened at all. I wish I had no reason to write this paper because I was not so quick to get angry with him.

I remember this scenario every time I feel my temper rise, or my attitude change with someone. I highly recommend that you do the same as well. It is the worst feeling in the entire world knowing that you can never talk to someone again, or even apologize for something you did. Especially when it is something as small as getting mad at another person; we are all the same, humans.